A couple of weeks ago I thought I would plan a nice Valentines Day date with my wife Emily. We would go to San Francisco to have a nice dinner and see a show. I chose A Feast of Fools since it is a comedy and I thought Emily would enjoy some good laughs. This year Valentines Day falls on a Friday. Going out to San Francisco on a Friday evening can be a little stressful since we have to rush home from work, change into nice clothes and drive to the city in time for dinner before the show. I didn’t want us to be under these kind of time pressures so I decided we would go out Saturday evening instead. We would have a nice leisurely day and more than enough time to make the drive to San Francisco. That was the plan anyway.
It turns out last Saturday was also the Chinese New Year. Naturally, San Francisco has a big parade to celebrate this event. I assumed this parade would be limited to the mainly Chinese area of San Francisco and wouldn’t affect our route through the financial district to the Marines Memorial Theater. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
5:00 PM – We leave our house in San Leandro. Our dinner reservations are at 6:30 PM so we have a full hour and a half to get there. Should be a cinch. In fact, I’m a little worried we might get there too early and will have to entertain ourselves until we can be seated.
5:30 PM – We just crossed the Bay Bridge and have entered the streets of San Francisco. Now I know we’ve arrived way too early.
5:35 PM – Crossing Market street we see a parade float and group of people in costumes. It looks like the parade does cross our path but we get to cut through it. We think it’s kind of cool to see a small part of the parade.
5:40 PM – One of the streets we are supposed to take has been closed off. We don’t think this is much of a problem. The city is laid out in a grid so all we have to do is take our detour and make our turn a block or two later.
5:45 PM – One or two blocks turns out to be five or six and we have to take another detour which puts us going in the exact opposite direction we want to go in.
5:45 PM to 7:30 PM – We spend the next hour and fifteen minutes desperately trying to get to Sutter street which is where the restaurant and theater are located. Every street near the place was closed. We have to drive to Mission and 6th before we could find a way up to Bush (a one-way street) which would take us to Sutter (one-way street running in the opposite direction). Amazingly enough we were able to keep our bearings so we didn’t get lost and knew what direction we were supposed to be going most of the time. Whenever we got lost we would run into a landmark to reorient us. Traffic was extremely slow. Most of the time we wanted to be in the right lane to make right turns and there would be cars stopped in the right lane trying to park and buses just sitting there. We have long since missed our dinner reservations and are now worrying about getting there in time for the show which starts at 8:00 PM.
7:30 PM – We arrive at the Marines Memorial Theater. We can’t believe it. I pull up to the valet parking area and get out to find an attendant. There are none around so I go into the building and ask the desk clerk. He says someone should be right out. I end up waiting almost fifteen minutes before the valet parking attendant finally shows up.
7:45 PM – We pick up our tickets at the Will Call window and take our seats. That’s when we feel the light cool air blowing on us. Except after about five seconds it stops being cool and becomes really cold. Great. We left our jackets in the car because it was raining out and we didn’t want to ruin the material. My jacket is suede and Emily’s is leather. So it looks like we’ll be sitting through the show being cold.
8:05 PM – The show starts and this is really the highlight of the evening. It was really good and we both enjoyed ourselves very much. It was basically one guy doing various silent comedy bits. Old fashioned humor but good. My favorite part of the show was then the musical accompanist played a beautiful and haunting song by running her fingers along the edges of several crystal glasses. There must have been twenty-four glass in all of varying sizes and filled to varying levels with water. They were sitting on a contraption that automatically spins the glasses when turned on. At first I though she would just play a simple melody but she played a beautifully composed and arranged that had me completely mesmerized.
9:20 PM – The show ends. We go to pick up my car from valet parking and are told it would be at least half an hour before we would be able to get our car. The parade was still affecting things. By this time we are really hungry. Neither one of us had eaten since lunch and Emily is pregnant. It’s really not good for her to be missing meals like this. We stopped by the restaurant we were supposed to go to earlier to see if they were still open. Much to our delight they were open and seated us immediately. However, our delight was short lived when our waitress told us that they were out of everything on the menu except for three items. Despite the limited selection we did enjoy our meals and had a good time joking about what a horrible evening it has been.
10:15 PM – We walk out of the building and are absolutely amazed to see my car already parked right out front. It looks like our luck was finally turning around.
The lesson of this story is never try to drive in San Francisco on the Chinese New Year.